When can it be helpful?

In all kinds of everyday situations when:

• we find ourselves feeling annoyed, anxious or upset

• we get into an argument with our partner, kids, colleague, boss, an organisation, government, the world!

• we are just not getting the quality of connection we would like in a particular relationship and there’s a sense that something is missing 

• we are conflicted internally, not knowing which decision to make

• we are plagued by regrets

• we’re feeling down and stuck in self-criticism

What are the benefits?

As we practise listening and understanding, a warmth and ease can emerge where there was tension and conflict. And as we speak with clarity and kindness we are empowered and uplifted. We discover a willingness to act in ways that respect everyone’s needs and values. In turn this frees us to fully enjoy our relationships and our life.

How does NVC work?

NVC helps us become aware of common ways we are drawn into disconnection from and conflict with those who have different views. We learn to recognise the narrow focus of the lens through which we view the world. We see that much of our thinking consists of unhelpful judgments, interpretations and comparisons, which result in defensive behaviour, denying, blaming and ignoring. 

The process of NVC encourages an awareness of our thought patterns and a questioning attitude to their absolute truthfulness.  It gives us a choice about believing all the thoughts we have about ourselves and others.

NVC offers us another lens through which to view life by drawing our attention to universal values  - such as safety, recognition, autonomy - as the underlying motivation for every word and human behaviour.  From this perspective we can see our own and each other’s humanity because heart-based values are common to us all.  Through this lens, the possibility of a different quality of connection opens up.